Tuesday, December 14, 2010

a mother's worst nightmare

Let me set the scene for you. I put liv down for a nap, a nap in which I knew she didn't fall asleep, but was content in her crib so I left her in there while I did a little cleaning, brushing my teeth, laundry, etc...

(btw, I'm about to use the word shit. A lot.)

I decide its been long enough so I take Liv and my folded clothes into her room, set them on the dresser and start grabbing clothes for her to change into. All the while, I smell shit. Liv has obviously shit her pants. This is very common during her naps. So I look up finally and say P.U. Liv, you stinkk.

To my horror, she is standing in her crib, trying to HAND me her dirty diaper!!

If this doesn't paint the picture for you, let me be a little bit more specific...the picture is brown. Brown everywhere!

My jaw dropped. I just stood there as my shit covered child was beaming up at me, as if this was the most wonderful thing she had ever done.

Oh, it gets better...the sucky that she is so happily sucking on...has shit on it too!!! This was a scene from a horror movie. First things first was to whip the shit covered sucky out of her mouth, next was to gingerly grab the diaper from my child's shit covered hands and throw it away, third was bathtime. She had two baths if you are wondering. One to clean the shit off of her and then I had to clean out the tub and give her another bath to clean her up. Finally, I took all of her shitty laundry and threw it into a garbage bag, rinsed off and boiled her suckys, and bleached down her crib and floor. Seriously, if you didn't know this before, shit is not easy to clean up. Not easy at all.

I may have to start duck taping my daughter's diaper onto her for naptime, because this is not something that topped my list of  great things I've done in my life.


  1. aaahhhhhh! if that happens to me i will probably pass out...for real! haha ewwww.

  2. I'm sure it sucked horribly for you, but I got a great laugh imagining you freaking out :) haha...love you...Tara

  3. Kevin did that when we was little. His Mom took a picture...it is disgusting and hilarious all at the same time.

  4. When Amara was Livs age she painted a picture on her walls, with shit of course...she was very proud and I was mortified. haha

  5. I'm just hoping this was a one time thing...the fun has worn out. hopefully :).

  6. Oh my goodness! What a nightmare!

  7. ahahahahah.. When your mom and Dani told me about this I couldn't help but laugh! I would have died!.. Love and miss you guys! -Jocelyn