Sunday, August 26, 2012

Liv's Room Re-Do

My goal when Liv was in Michigan was to plan her 3rd birthday party and re-decorate her bedroom. I had bought most of the furniture for Liv's room from Value Village and it didn't all go together. I love Value Village, but I wanted it to be a bit more cohesive and organized.

I bought most of the new things for Liv's room at Ikea. I looked a lot online and planned what I was going to buy before I went. I tend to walk around in a daze when I'm at Ikea, so I needed a plan.

It doesn't necessarily have a theme. I wanted it to be a bit whimsical and girly, but still look like it was a little girl's room.

Here's how it turned out.

I really liked moving this dresser, which was a value village find and could use a re-paint, to the end of Liv's bed. The thing I love most about it is the shelves on both sides of the drawers.

This picture wall has always been there....I missed a picture of the floor poof I made awhile back. I will have to take another picture.

very busy on top of that dresser...

I'm finally not ashamed to show Liv's closet!! I did some major organizing and moved this storage bin in the closet and it really helped. Also the shoe organizer was a life safer.

Monday, August 13, 2012


Debris - the remains of anything broken down or destroyed; ruins; rubble.

There are moments that literally stop me cold and I get lost in a thought or a moment of what used to be. I'm sometimes successful at pulling myself out of the rubble and other times it takes me awhile longer to climb out.

These moments could be brought on by a song on the radio. Or by a bad day/week/month and thinking and over-thinking it because that's what I do. They are brought on with my interactions with friends, family, and Liv.

It can start out as a memory...a great memory with Shannon, that I think about so hard and in that moment, I really think if I pick up my phone and call her...she will answer.

Or it can be something that I'm dealing with and I wonder what she would think about how I responded  to the situation and what she thought I should do.

It's a strange thing to deal with...all the debris that is left over after the death of somebody who meant so much to you. I'm not the only person that is damaged and in need of repair. I find comfort with some people and lose it with others. It's not that I judge the way they deal...I just can't cope that way and therefore remove myself from the hurt.

Everyone deals with death differently. There is no right or wrong, no black or white solution...there is just pure survival.

The funny thing about debris is that it inflicts a lot of pain. There was a lot of damage done and many scars that are so fresh it's hard to forget. Denial is a strong tool for survival, but when does it catch up with you? When you leave pain untreated, how long does it take to infect you?

I am by no way saying that I am never happy. I am, and I think about Shannon during good times as well...I would just like to know...When does it get better? I want to be able to reminisce without being swallowed back into the ruins.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

winding down

My absence is totally due to the fact that I am trying to adjust to my new lifestyle as a working mom. It is a huge change, but one I am really loving. I am busy and I love having a routine.

Ummm.....Liv turned 3. Remember back when I had a blog post celebrating every month? Well, I am a failure. However, I did not fail in delivering her a superhero party that she requested. And when you think about it, that's what is really important.

We've had an interesting summer. Liv was in Michigan with my family for three weeks! It was very strange to say the least. It is something that will be an annual occurrence and Liv really enjoyed herself. My family loved having her there too. Pat and I had some quality time together too...probably more than we needed, but like I said...good for all. My mom flew in with her two weeks ago and stayed for six days. It was nice to have her here. She has never visited before and I liked having her in my new home and I thought she fit in nicely. Now I need to convince her to move here and be my live in nanny.

I am going to keep this short...don't want to overwhelm anybody with too many details.

Liv on her 3rd Birthday....Spiderman!

another from my sister's photo session with Liv.