The feeling is so fresh and I'd like to go back to last year and be blissfully unaware of what awaits. If I did that I would have called her up to tell her how much I love her and how special she is to me.
However, I wouldn't want to go through the acute pain of losing her again. It was consuming and heartbreaking. For everyone and more for some. A lot of people built their lives around her and it all came crashing down this evening last year. We are all still building our lives back. They will never be what they were, but they will be better because she was a part of them.
I will be celebrating her life tonight. I'll remember how special she made my life and how I'll never forget her. I might cry a little, but I'll be toasting to Shannon tonight.