Liv's Room Re-Do

My goal when Liv was in Michigan was to plan her 3rd birthday party and re-decorate her bedroom. I had bought most of the furniture for Liv's room from Value Village and it didn't all go together. I love Value Village, but I wanted it to be a bit more cohesive and organized.

I bought most of the new things for Liv's room at Ikea. I looked a lot online and planned what I was going to buy before I went. I tend to walk around in a daze when I'm at Ikea, so I needed a plan.

It doesn't necessarily have a theme. I wanted it to be a bit whimsical and girly, but still look like it was a little girl's room.

Here's how it turned out.

I really liked moving this dresser, which was a value village find and could use a re-paint, to the end of Liv's bed. The thing I love most about it is the shelves on both sides of the drawers.

This picture wall has always been there....I missed a picture of the floor poof I made awhile back. I will have to take another picture.

very busy on top of that dresser...

I'm finally not ashamed to show Liv's closet!! I did some major organizing and moved this storage bin in the closet and it really helped. Also the shoe organizer was a life safer.

Debris

Debris - the remains of anything broken down or destroyed; ruins; rubble.

There are moments that literally stop me cold and I get lost in a thought or a moment of what used to be. I'm sometimes successful at pulling myself out of the rubble and other times it takes me awhile longer to climb out.

These moments could be brought on by a song on the radio. Or by a bad day/week/month and thinking and over-thinking it because that's what I do. They are brought on with my interactions with friends, family, and Liv.

It can start out as a memory...a great memory with Shannon, that I think about so hard and in that moment, I really think if I pick up my phone and call her...she will answer.

Or it can be something that I'm dealing with and I wonder what she would think about how I responded  to the situation and what she thought I should do.

It's a strange thing to deal with...all the debris that is left over after the death of somebody who meant so much to you. I'm not the only person that is damaged and in need of repair. I find comfort with some people and lose it with others. It's not that I judge the way they deal...I just can't cope that way and therefore remove myself from the hurt.

Everyone deals with death differently. There is no right or wrong, no black or white solution...there is just pure survival.

The funny thing about debris is that it inflicts a lot of pain. There was a lot of damage done and many scars that are so fresh it's hard to forget. Denial is a strong tool for survival, but when does it catch up with you? When you leave pain untreated, how long does it take to infect you?

I am by no way saying that I am never happy. I am, and I think about Shannon during good times as well...I would just like to know...When does it get better? I want to be able to reminisce without being swallowed back into the ruins.

winding down

My absence is totally due to the fact that I am trying to adjust to my new lifestyle as a working mom. It is a huge change, but one I am really loving. I am busy and I love having a routine.

Ummm.....Liv turned 3. Remember back when I had a blog post celebrating every month? Well, I am a failure. However, I did not fail in delivering her a superhero party that she requested. And when you think about it, that's what is really important.

We've had an interesting summer. Liv was in Michigan with my family for three weeks! It was very strange to say the least. It is something that will be an annual occurrence and Liv really enjoyed herself. My family loved having her there too. Pat and I had some quality time together too...probably more than we needed, but like I said...good for all. My mom flew in with her two weeks ago and stayed for six days. It was nice to have her here. She has never visited before and I liked having her in my new home and I thought she fit in nicely. Now I need to convince her to move here and be my live in nanny.

I am going to keep this short...don't want to overwhelm anybody with too many details.

Liv on her 3rd Birthday....Spiderman!

another from my sister's photo session with Liv.

fairy!

Back to Reality

Not that I left reality for very long. I arrived back in Calgary on Monday and since the moment I left on Thursday until right now, it's been a whirlwind. I was SO busy while I was home, I definitely missed seeing some important people and it gives me anxiety about when I'll get to see them next, but that's more reason for me to save up to get back for Christmas!

Ashley and Nate's wedding was beautiful. There ceremony was on Lake Superior and everything was absolutely stunning and perfect. I was a bit stressed during the ceremony because Dani and I had readings and Liv was being a terror, throwing sand at me and sticking her face in the sand....she's wild. She was also a tasmanian devil at the reception, but she made a slightly early exit and we all got to let our hair down and enjoy some beverages and dancing.

Liv is with my parents until the 30th. I feel like a horrible mother, BUT I am doing this for my daughter and my family. They only get to see her for a limited amount of time and my mom and I have been talking about this for awhile. My mom is going to fly back with her and stay a week too, which is so exciting because she hasn't been to visit yet. I am going to enjoy the stampede, some alone time with my husband...and busy myself with planning Liv's 3rd birthday party and re-doing her room for her return. Starting pinterest board now...

I have a modge podge of pictures to document our time in Michigan, so bear with me...I lost my camera a few weeks ago and stole all of these off of facebook.

Dani took some pictures of Liv in a feather headband she made for her...this is the first she's posted....how cute! It makes me miss her that much more. That face is SO her! Here is the link to my sister's website!

Jillian, Me, Andrea, Ashley (the bride, obv.), and my Twinnie

Dani, Me, and Bikey at the rehearsal

This pictures deserves an explanation...When we were younger we played on a bunch of gus macker/red hacker teams together and our team name was Charlie Angels, but lets be clear...it was based on the classic television show and wayy before the movie ;)

wedding reception.

Andrea didn't want to be left out :)

This is Lea, Ashley's photographer, my friend and she was also my photographer. Liv has not seen her since my wedding but as soon as she saw her she was obsessed with Lea. I had to tow her away on multiple occasions because she was trying to distract poor Lea. Lea...I hope this is ok that I posted this. Lea is amazing and has a photography business called Vienna Glenn Photography. Here is the link to her blog too.

twinny. Can you tell which one is which?

There was another set of twins there, our edmontonian friends, Kathy and Tina :).

Dani, Tara, Me, and Ashley

posing with auntie dani...how cute is her outfit?

My Mom (gaga) and Liv....high on life, or sugar.

whoa

Life has been crazyyy. We are just ending the long weekend (yay canada day!) and I don't even know how it went by so fast. Well....I have an idea, Liv was in a wedding and that took up our Friday night and all day/night on Saturday. It was fun though and Liv did great. Apparently it was too much fun because my camera with all the evidence of how cute Liv was is missing. I'm trying to be hopeful that it will turn up, but if it doesn't, I've decided I'm not getting another snap and shoot, I'll be upgrading to an iphone! 

We leave on Thursday for Michigan. I am my normal anxious self and started packing today. I can't help myself, I will make a few lists and be obsessive about getting it all done. Then I'll wake up at 3am and worry myself until our flight at 6am. I will be exhausted by the time we actually arrive, but it will be worth it to celebrate Ashley and Nate's wedding! Also, cross your fingers that Liv doesn't puke on me again....OR if she does, I catch it in the handy puke bag (gag).

I have wanted to update, but I have felt so overwhelmed ad my thoughts tend to jump all over the place when that happens. I am hoping that in a few months I'll be into the swing of things and feel a little more in control of my life. 

I don't want to complain though, because so far, I really like my job! I get to start training for my actual position tomorrow and I'm looking forward to that. I have a lot to learn to be able to take over the department by October-ish. 

I will update during or after my Michigan trip...I hope it's not a puke story again, even though they are funny after, during is a nightmare. I think I have PTSD from all of these puking incidents ha! I will also make my sister take pictures for me and I'll steal them, I'm annoying like that.

working woman

Well sort of. I'm a faux working woman for the next couple of weeks. I get up, get ready, and go to work...but I'm not really doing my job yet. I had orientation on Monday and then today I sat around and shadowed the women in customer service. I will spend the rest of the week doing a production rotation, which involves lots of laundry and the ugliest uniform ever worn...I might take a picture to document the 10 inch zipper on these slacks (yes slacks is the correct term for these monstrosities), then I will be out with the service reps for the rest of the week. 

It definitely feels good to get out of the house and start "working", but I am a little antsy to get started on my actual job. I'm feeling all stressed and anxious about it because I will be covering for my manager's position when she goes on Maternity leave (which for everyone in the States, that is 12 whole months in canada!). She is only about 5 months so I have some time, but my anxious self likes to start stressing out early.

Blogging might be put on the back-burner for a bit because hello, I haven't worked in two years and getting into it again has proven tiring. I'm not used to waking up at 5am. I do enjoy it though, there is something about getting up and drinking coffee, showering, and getting ready alone that sets my day off right.

Liv is doing fantastic. She loves her daycare and hasn't made a peep about the slightly longer hours and extra days. She gets a little miffed if she gets there before her favorite teacher is there, but I'm thinking this will pass in a few weeks when she realizes she gets there earlier from now on. 

Father's day was lovely. We let Pat sleep in and I found a cute questionnaire on pinterest titled "All About My Dad", framed that and we gave him a book that he already had (oops). I will need to post the answers Liv put for these questions because they were really entertaining. When asked what her dad always tells her, Liv answered "that I'm a maniac!". Also, when asked how old her dad was she said "two.....no, I two....I can't know!". It was funny to say the least.

So that is my update for now. I have a bachelorette party (stagette party for the canadians) this weekend, but most likely Liv and I will be hanging out outside and I will have some pictures to post on Sunday.

Big News!

Drumroll please......I am employed! I was hired today :). I am so happy and excited to start this new chapter in our lives. I start Monday and hello lifestyle change. I am nervous but I'm sure we will all adjust just fine.

Other than that we have a busy weekend coming up with Liv's dance recital! It's sure to be stressful but filled with cute. I am looking forward to how she does, she is a little timid in front of new people and situations so I'm not sure how she will feel being on stage in front of lots of new faces.  I've had to do her hair and make-up for dance a few different times already so I feel confident, but I'd be lying if it didn't make me a little sad to see my baby wearing make-up :(. It's a requirement and part of the package so I'm sucking it up.

Liv and I are heading back to Michigan on July 5th for my friend, Ashley's, wedding. I'm really looking forward to seeing my family and friends and celebrating with Ashley and Nate! I will be heading back on the 9th and Liv is going to stay with my family until the 23rd...crazy, I know. I want her to experience summer in the U.P. and my mom and I have been talking about doing this annually for awhile now. My family would like to be able to spend quality time with Liv every year also. It will be interesting though. I don't know how I will survive without my little gremlin sidekick.

This has definitely been the most exciting week I've had in awhile and I am thrilled to be able to finally say I have a job!

Here are a few pictures from the last couple weeks.

all done up for her dance rehearsal.

Her face in this picture reminded me of when she was a baby :(.

her new favorite red shoes! I love you Value Village :)

one more of my beautiful girl.