Maybe I am, maybe I'm not...a feminist that is. I have always thought of myself as independent. I know I CAN do everything that a man can do. I usually prefer it my way anyways. I have never depended on a man before...well, thats not true, I depended on my dad.
My dad is a man who takes care of all the blue things if you will. Blue meaning, stereotypical man jobs. For instance, everything to do with his families vehicles. I mean, yeah, I got my own oil changed, but if something were to break or I needed a new registration or something...my dad got it done. Automatically...I didn't even have to ask.
I am now at a point in my life, where my only option is to be a homemaker. I can't work, yet. I stay at home all day with Liv. I cook, clean, do laundry, change most of the diapers, and drink way too much coffee. My husband is the bread winner and only winner in this situation because like I said above, I can't work. That puts me in a position that I have never wanted or saw myself in.
Its taking some adjusting. This is all being brought up because the other day I texted Pat to shovel the walk while we were at a baby shower because I slipped and almost killed myself. He was doing a little working from home and didn't shovel. Of course, me being me, I had to give him shit about it. He then responded back with "this is the 21st century, why can't you go shovel the walk?"? Touche my friend, however, sometimes I don't feel it is because here I am in my homemaker role. Its very conflicting.
I am also going to renew Pat's registration on his truck today...which brought up the whole subject again. Isn't that how marriage works? So, I'm sucking it up and going to renew it for him...but I am also going to make him go get me an oil change. Its only fair right? I won't make him take Liv with him. Hello DMV, here we come!
I feel like this a lot. I love being home, but I also feel a little trapped in the role at times. I think that when Sam was home, I used to play into it a lot more to get him to carry the extra load. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's an odd balance. I feel very inadequate next to working moms who shoulder so much.
This is exactly what I was getting at!
ReplyDeleteAhh Desi-I cannot entirely relate given that I am back at work now but here is what I can say after a brief period of staying home:
ReplyDeleteI feel inadequate about work and about home, lol. It's hard doing both because I don't want to be o.k. at either, but good everything. Instead I usually end up feeling like I half-assed my way through all aspects of my day. Although, work does feel like a "break" even if it is work. P.S. I still make Jeremy do the man jobs. Whether I am working full-time, part-time, or when I was staying home. Hands down. Because my dad did that stuff for me too and would have forever if I would have stayed single, lol.
hahaha I know what you mean Jenna. Where is my dad when I need him!
ReplyDeleteI am the same exact way. It's like I want to say I'm a strong independent woman, but then it's cold out and I'm all "babe can you take the trash to the curb and by the way, can you fix the broken light in the hallway and oh, can you build me a fence out back?" Hehe. I suppose it's a partnership, right? I do a lot of the "pink" jobs, but there are a few things that are manly that I have taken over. 21st century is all about equality! I <3 this post!
ReplyDeleteTotally Care. I agree that its about equality. I can usually get my husband doing some pink jobs too!
ReplyDeleteDesi I love this post too. It's very well written! One of my favorite thus far, for sure. My brain is too tired to think of anything intelligent to say, except, I agree.
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